b Purely Gibberish

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Serba Bersalah

Ade seorang lelaki ini. X namenye..kami sekelas mase darjah 3, dan beliau merupakan rival saya untuk mendapat nombor satu periksa akhir tahun. Akhirnye saya yang berjaya menggondol title tu, beliau mendapat nombor 2. Hahahaha!! (motif saya cuba berlagak dengan kisah lama ialah??)
Abaikn.
Anyway beliau telah berpindah masa darjah 4. Tak jumpe dah langsung..sampai la beberapa tahun kemudian.

13 tahun kendian..

Kami bertemu semula dalam sebuah gathering mini budak2 skolah..
Beliau dan saya mula la beramah mesra..
Sms skettt...
Kol skett...
Cerita2 pasal masa lampau..saya tak kesah...member jee..

Tak lama setelah itu, terbukak pulak citer masa kini dan masa depan..
Saya tak kesah...member ajeee..

Lalu suatu hari pabila bliau memulakan tajuk 'Mari berjumpa mak ayah saya', terus diri ini menjadi kompius...member aje ke ni? Oh~ (mungkin di saat ini saya assume beliau serius, lalu saya menjadi segan silu) tak terkata..maklumlah tak pernah orang ajak jumpe mak ayah dengan nada serius. Sebagai gadis melayu sejati...bukankah diam itu tanda setuju?

Lalu nk dipendekkan citer tak lama selepas 'kisah mak ayah' dibuka, beliau terpaksa outstation kerna hal keje..lalu kami putus hubungan selama sebulan...katanya takbleh sms atau call kerna di situ kalo bawak henpon bahaya.. bleh letop "kebaaaboooooomm~~!!!" tempat keje beliau nanti. Saya diam je. Malas nk tanye banyak2..nnt kate saya pompuan jenis 'clingy' la pula. Saya bukan. Saya cool.

Sebulan kemudian (tanpa khabar berita dari bliau)

Seperti biasa saya menerawang di alam siber dan menyelami laman Facebook..terlihatlah saya sesuatu yang mengejutkan.
X telah menukar status dari 'single' kepada 'in a relationship'...dan gambar beliau berpelukan mesra dengan seorang pompuan yang agak-agak tak terkawal keseksian terpampang megah di profile.
Kamu semua ingat apekah perasaan saya pada waktu itu?
Macam beg berisi sampah yang berbau busuk lalu dijauhi oleh semua...lalu tinggallah beg sampah itu sendiri tanpa siapa yang peduli...

Sebab ni bukan citer beg sampah yang tak bleh menangis macam manusia seperti saya, maka dengan syahdu saya pn melayan jiwang buat seketika...nasib baik ade kawan-kawan yang pandai menghiburkan hati. Walaupn mereka tak pandai buat silap mata/aksi comel macam ikan lumba-lumba, tapi dengan bantuan mereka akhirnya saya berjaya jugak mengatakan, "Blah la, ingat kamu best sangat ke?". Walaupn hanya berjaya dituturkn di angin lalu dan bukan kepada X sendiri, saya tetap bangga..tapi tidak pula saya menjadi riak.

Setahun kemudian...

Seperti biasa saya menerawang di alam siber dan menyelami laman Facebook..terlihatlah saya sesuatu yang mengejutkan.
X telah menukar status dari 'in a relationship' kepada 'single'...dan gambar beliau berpelukan dengan seorang pompuan yang agak-agak tak terkawal keseksian terpampang megah di profile kini tiada lagi.
Kamu semua ingat apekah perasaan saya di waktu ini?

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Monday, November 23, 2009

Neighbour

I've got to be honest, I was not entirely in cloud-9 when the crowds said they're planning to move in next door.

OMG...I've had terrible headaches just thinking about attire restrictions and god knows what other restrictions on some crazy things I always do in the backyard (e.g. cat chasing, bird feeding, long-jumping, bad singing..sigh..). No, I was not sincerely smiling when they said the landlady agreed on them moving in. Farah-not-happy.

Actually it wasn't as bad as I've had imagined(so far). Since it's raining all the time + everyday anyway, backyard and attire restriction is out of the question. Besides, I've no one else in the house at this moment and the prospect of having people I could trust and run to whenever trouble come knocking on the door..well, it's does make a little different on how things look to me now. Not that I'm expecting trouble to come rolling in..and I've stayed alone in the house by myself LOADS of times before with no trouble whatsoever; but having crowd of people I know as neighbours makes this house feels.....a lot warmer.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Boleh tak berangan kamu nyanyi lagu ni utk saye???

CINTA~~~

--sebab bliau pelat, maka lirik tu agak tak btul. Tapi sebab comel saye mahapkn la kamu encik Tae Kyung!!---

lirik sebenar:

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you..
---------------------------

*nak cakap banyak sebenarnye tapi lepas abis berangan nnt la*

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Sunday, November 08, 2009


Tibe2 rase nak makan sushi. Hmm..sedapnye..

Tinggal satu minggu lagi kat MGH.
Tinggal enam episod je sebelum YAB abis.

Bosannye.
Ni yang rase nk buat skendel musim sejuk lg ni. Hahaha~

Tapi kalo ikutkan since second year, mmg every winter mesti ade skendel. Takbleh blah tul. Membuatkn aku rase dreadful gle stiap kali winter datang. Haishhhhh! Ble takde skendel br ni, mula la nk igt skendel2 lame. Ape2pn aku harap mereka(i.e. mangsa2 skendel saye/saye mangsa skendel mereka??) berbahagia selalu buat jahat dibalas jahat, ingat yee..

Aku mmg selalu doakn yg terbaik utk sume orang, tak kira la yg jahat atau baik(uwek uwek). Wohoho..tibe2 terigt ayat diri sendiri kepada Encik Baju Biru (skendel lame yang hampir berputik smule), "Bless my kind heart..I know I am such a good person". Kalo kitorg duduk kat dunia anime musti dier dah tergolek jatuh dari tempat duduk dier dan gelak guling2 ble dengar ayat tu. Haha... Tapi kat alam dan manusia ni, dier cume gelak dengan sopan santun je la.. Hei Encik Baju Biru, saye mmg baik ape! At least saye takla mengaku saye suke awak pastu peluk awak sampai awak rase serba salah. Ok la tuh sebab saye cume imagine saye buat camtu jer. Waaahh meliarnye imaginasi..
Hoii rupenye banyak shaitan kat keliling niii...
----------------------
Lately sume kate aku dah BERISI (kata ganti yang sopan utk mengatakan aku dah GEMUK). Salah ke gemuk sket? Tak comel ke? I rase I comel je! (kenapa, salah ke kalau saya tak sedar diri??). Haihh... *memicit lemak di pinggang*

Haihhh..
Takbleh buat cheesecake la sampai thn depan..
----------------------
Oh...bosannye....
Tetibe teringat ayat lazim yang slalu cakap kat mama bile dier mula bukak topik feveretnye 'Adik Takde Sape2 Ke?'.
Jawapan wajib saye, "Sape yang masuk meminang adik dlu, tu la dia bakal suami adik. Adik terima je kini dan selamanya" (ok, part kini dan selamanya tu overstatement melampau). Apepn nk cakap kat cni, camne kalo yang masuk meminang tu..

#Pakcik tua berusia 40 ++ tahun?
#Encik yang gatal nk tambah koleksi isteri yang ke-empat?
#Duda anak tiga?
#Pakcik boroi dengan pinggang berukur lilit 60 inci setengah?

TIDAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh baikla lepas ni takkan jawab camtu la kat mama. Wohoho!
--------------------
Oh bosannyee...

nak balik rmh n buli Mokmon


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Friday, January 02, 2009

Yoga - Banned For Muslim

I have to admit that I love doing yoga...and you can bet your bottom dollar that I was deeply strucked by the fact that I cannot do it anymore. Yes, I was being rebellious about the decision until today when I read the e-mail sent by Liyana and she put the link to this video;



Something hit me from the inside...and started to make me feel bad about myself.


In the other part of the world, my brothers and sisters are struggling to survive. Assaulted and oppressed by the enemies - day in and day out - but I could not care much about it, only to give my condolences and get on with my busy life.
Here I am, fighting and sulking over the decision to ban yoga when it had been discussed by all the Islamic scholar and was made only to protect us and our religion.
Do I love this world more than I love my own religion?
Am I going to stay here forever?
...di dalam kesibukan dunia, aku kadang-kadang lupa...sebab utama aku hidup di dalam dunia..
....jika aku mati hari ini..cukupkah bekalan yang aku bawa untuk menghadapi hari Perhitungan?
astaghfirullah..
sahabat, teruslah berikan peringatan supaya aku tidak hanyut dalam kekalutan.

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Of Life, Friendship and Love

Trip to Germany had lead to many good things.

Of Love
I have finally found the so-much-needed inner peace - I now firmly believe that I am worthy of someone something better. I was so surprised that in the end I did not cry in front of him as I've had expected/feared for so many days. Our meetings had actually calmed the anguish I've had over these few months. I no longer hate myself unnecessarily - used to blame myself for being so immature and indecisive. And neither did I accuse him responsible for keeping me in the dark all these while - for letting me go when I needed him the most. In the end it was for the best. Time for me to look ahead and leave the past as it is. I wish him all the best for the future. Selamat berbahagia dengan teman hatimu! =)

Of Friendship
I had Isyqi for myself (finally!!) for three days. We exchanged stories and tales - about her, him, me, us, our Mr seventy-percents, them and everything under the sun. How I wish time would stop there and then so we could continue chatting. How I wish I could just stay there a bit longer. The countless trips to Aldstadt, the walk in the park, that spontaneous decision to go to Bamberg, all the shared laughter and wishes. Enormous amounts of secrets finally unburdened from our shoulders. I will treasure each and every little moment we spent together. Isyqi, I love you to bits. Thank you for the "doof tasse" and that special something inside - discovered hours after I arrived home. Thank you for spending countless hours with me, if only you'd knew how precious I felt each time you smiled at me. If only you'd knew how hard it was to climb on that train and leave you behind. Saya sayangggggg kamu Isyqi!


Of life
Many things I've discovered - about life generally. All these while I thought I'd never move on and too hard headed to change anyway. Many feared that this trip would drag me back to the endless black hole of misery; or at the very least crushes my pride to pieces. It did none. I realised that I've matured to yet another level and I owe it to everyone around me. Thank you Allah for sending Your love through these people. (To Aimee and Najmi: I WOULD definitely remember all of you in 50 years time - InsyaAllah kalau tak kene Alzheimer - that's how significant you guys are!) I can't believe all the advices that got into my stubborn head. Terima kasih semua!

So in summary I am HAPPY, contented, grateful, BLESSED and so much LOVED by everyone around me but usually I am so self-centered to realize this. Sorry.

Saya saaaayaaannng kamu semuaaaa!!

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Crazy Beautiful

Took my first psychiatric history today. Thank god Navid was with me or else there would be A LOT of awkward silence between me and the patient. She suffers from depression. She told us that most of the times she felt worthless and even at one point tried to kill herself by overdosing on her meds. Oh my, she is such a beautiful girl. On a few occasion, I wasn't even listening to her talking. All I could think of is how beautiful she looks.

*Sexual orientation check-up*

Still normal- phewwww~

Anyway, the moral of the story is there's nothing perfect in this world. You could look pretty from the outside but pretty rotten on the inside. Jangan menilai buku daripada kulitnya ya kawan-kawan!

But this lady is so nice that Navid and I both think she doesn't deserve this illness(ohh seperti menolak takdir pula) =(
Poor lady, hope she'd recover soon.

Oh ya, dua sebab untuk saya menjadi sangat elated today:
1) Saya akan terbang jauh esok, selamat tinggal Galway! =)
2) Hanya beberapa orang yang tahu sebab kedua, tapi jangan cuba korek rahsia ini dari mereka. Awas!

Hehe..happy weekend everyone, mine starts tomorrow and it ends on Monday.

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Monday, November 10, 2008

Too Much Time to Be Wasted (not)

Okay, I've got to be honest. I am actually missing those pregnant bellies! Seriously, how will I cope with the mental wards, surrounded with depressed people and panic buttons(just in case). Can I please push MY panic button so that everyone will come and help? Teehee.. Send me over to those midwives, I don't mind pulling some hairs to get 100 more deliveries.

Intan said I can ask about our status indirectly. I am getting anxious as the text are getting more frequent. What does that mean? But to ask that person directly/indirectly...alamak maluuuuuuuuunye ("ohhhh..i feel stupid talking in bahasa!" *quote* Bwahahaha!!) Should I just keep this anxiety in my poor tummy?

This part of the world is getting colder and colder each day. I think I am going down with flu. Sore throat, aching limbs, high temp? Nooooooo..I want to go to Germany this Thursday - and I shall even if I had to wrapped myself in this thick duvet and board in that flight! Boohoooo =(

Isyqi, I am coming no matter what! And Azraai, you will get those flipflops as promised! (very determined)

Ohh..mahukah sesiapa pergi ke town bersama saya esok? *beating eyelashes*

Current situation:
Status: Sick
Mood: oh try to define it!
Lovelife: drama people dramatize everything. Bleaghh..and I am such a drama queen c(=
Financial status: wishing money will fall down from the sky *eyes rolling*

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Saturday, October 25, 2008


It is unwise to indulge in retail therapy session when the whole nation suffers from financial meltdown.

But it is more unwise to prevent a girl from doing so- as she may bite you in the head instead!
*wink*

Above pic - a new jacket from the so-called-retail-therapy. Teehee~

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

Will You Marry ME? =)

I had the funniest dream last night. I was getting married with Mr. MR (a consultant in UCHG)!!! Hahahaha...it never crossed my mind that I will have a cheesy kind of dream involving a person I respected so much. Hahahahahaha...

But to think it over, I like the feelings that I had in the dream. I REALLY loved him - I was truly head over heels for Mr MR! When I woke up, I still remember that feelings quite well and they sort of lingering around until now.....which means I am still somehow feeling quite in love with Mr MR....teeheee. Maybe if I were to see Mr. MR today, I might accidentally blurted the 'L' word out to him. Ohhh..that'll be the most embarrassing scene of the year.

Hahaha...I am becoming random each day. Wonder what will I dream about tonight~ =)

Anyway, out of pure boredom and spontaneity, I went out with Ayesha yesterday. Destination : Galway city centre. We met with N and R in 'KebabKlub'. This unexpected meeting proved two things:
1) The best way to kill time is by going to the city center
2) Unfortunately the city center is so small that we kept bump into each others faces - but this doesn't necessarily means that I hate bumping into people (it could be fun sometimes)

When we met them, R was actually thinking about buying himself a 'Wii console' + 'Wii fit' which are currently bundled up together in one neat package that only cost 319.00 Euros - available in GameStop (50/50 percent chances that he might not buy them).

N kept persuading him to the 'Wiis' - so that they could have some fun playing them at home.

My hungry stomach persuaded me to order the delicious chicken kebab and thirst-quenching-7Up.

But the conversations quickly turned into a heated political debate and discussion about current situations in Malaysia, etc.

R bought the 'Wiis' in the end.

I bought Palmolive shower foam and TRESemmé hair mask in Boots for three quarter less the usual price.

Yeeee~..everyone's happy I guess :)

p/s: they said dreams often reflect inner desire....woohoo...'marriage', moi???

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Monday, April 07, 2008

Should I Give Someone a Call?

For whatever reasons, I was unable to write much over this couple of weeks. It's not that I don't have the time or lacking ideas what to write on. I have loads of things to share but everything is just well drafted - in my head. Inevitably, all those fun stories and sweet memories end up forgotten and deleted from my cerebrum - (along with the formula to calculate velocity of a moving object in a given time which last I heard of was during Mr. Gary's physics class in the year 2004).

Haha..I feel ancient.

Anyway, my trip to Finland was thrilling, full of breath-taking-ly beautiful sceneries that fed my eyes and camera, FUN and super-duper-adventurous; highly recommended for those who wants to put their physical & mental endurance to the test. Linda was the best person to travel with (she's so well prepared!) - plus she has the upperhand for being Finnish (and a local student) in term of communication(very important) and transport fees. Unfortunately I had to pay the full price for almost everything - and I am completely broke until next month...boohoo..
Sunset in Korvala & Linda


Korvala, Finland

Cork Games - Netball - we beat all the other 5 teams - won every single game. End up as champion. Hahahaa. Should I elaborate more about it? Naaahh...I'd better not, because in the end you would say I overemphasized the whole point. Drama..DRAMA....hahahaaaa

Galway Team
The most important thing was that my dear darling Isyqi came over all the way from Germany to join in our team (our own secret weapon by the goalpost *wink*wink) - and Isyqi purposely left her things at my place so that she has a valid reason to come AGAIN! (though that puts me as the second next reason for her next visit!) Nevertheless..........yeeeeeee~~ I'm looking forward to seeing you!! =) =) =)

So in summary;
Attachments: two case reports in three weeks...ahhhhhhhhh......................
Classes: interesting, but somehow failed to tempt me
Financial status: read the above sentence (in bold)
Love-life: dead as usual
Mood: Wicked

"Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need."

Voltaire

..ohh, seems I don't need to call anyone because I have loads of work to do! =)

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Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Clicking Ankle

Yes, my right ankle clicks! How cool is that? NOT cool at all. I twisted it during the futsal (mini football) match on Sunday and I've been limping ever since. Plus, I've had both knees bruised and torn my pants in the process. Actually the whole thing sound more absurd when I have them written down. Haha. No worries, I am surviving. Having had too many injuries I am inclined to say that the word 'accident-prone' really suits me well. I am almost definitely will fall over and hurt myself in any types of outdoor games(this actually adds up to the macho factor); I have higher tendency to bump up against things, get my sleeves caught up in door knobs - Yes, door knobs; misdirect my foot - end up kicking tables and chairs. But I assure you, I still manage to look cool 99.99% of the time.

I've shed 5 kilos without any effort. I still EAT - mind you. Actually I ate more than usual. So, it is best to say that actually exams and stresses can help you to stay in shape. Hah, but I would not recommend it to anyone if I can help it. I'd rather be 'fat and happy' than being 'slim and stressed'. Am I? But being fat could be stressful too isn't it?

Daffodils are out again - maybe one of these days I will ask Amira out to take photos.

Ohh, before I forget "Happy 2nd birthday my dear blog"~ I still can't believe it had been TWO years since I started writing. Spent some time reading my older posts - and laugh at myself - 100% of the time.

I still can't get how people would actually forward mails and whatnot - just because it says "you will die in 60 seconds if you do not forward this mail" or "the name of the person that love you will appear if you forward this mail" or the classic one "you will get 50 thousand dollars just by forwarding this mail-believe it, it had happened to me!". Come on people, money don't grow on trees and people will NOT give money around for nothing; your life and death is already written in the Luh Mahfuz and no e-mails will ever change it. Stop forwarding mails and fill up my inbox with junks. Seriously people, it annoys me.

Peace.

this vid : LOL

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

LOOSING SENSE and defence

I know I've been less dramatic lately, maybe due to the fact that I am still not recruited to any movie production after showing my fullblown talent on "LADIES NIGHT". ( I am still loud though- I think it's encoded in my XX chromosomes). Having to live in serenity the past few months, I somehow managed to forget how's it like to feel the evilness in my soul. Alas, this tranquility doesn't last that long. I finally went down last night. The devil that had been banging on my door since a fortnight ago had finally found a secret key and manage to gain entry and poison my poor heart- I went down like a complete moronic slave to my own rage - and felt like a complete fool. I can still hear the devil laughing...

Trying to mend the wound, I've caused another. I am a total mess. I should be left alone to live in a desert. Haihh..

But I want a baby - first. (what???)

Okay, today I found out that my two other bff are PREGNANT!!!!!!!

And I am nowhere near getting myself a husband. Ouff, I sounded desperate but could not care less. I WANT A HUSBAND OF MY OWN!!! Haha.

Point taken everyone? What are you waiting for?? Help me find one SOON!

p/s: please make sure that he is willing to live with me in the desert.

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Friday, February 08, 2008

MIME

The other day something had triggered my primitive instinct. I was on the verge of jumping down from Finnegan Suite and let myself to fall freely - but of course; there would be a loud 'THUD' when I landed flat on the ground. I pictured myself doing just that before realizing that the Finnegan Suite is clearly fixed on ground floor. Oh, maybe I was losing my sense of propriety. Why? You might ask. Why in the world would I want to fool myself in front of everybody at the main campus? Well, my answer would be - due to pure tension felt all over my cerebral gyri trying to finish up the MIME assignment.

MIME is just like an itchy spot on your palm, you can scratch as much as you want but you could never get the same sensation as you would when you scratch elsewhere. To put it in other words; I like learning MIME but I could never understand it.

I know those two previous sentences have nothing to do with each other; but - who cares!

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Sunday, February 03, 2008

Recollection.

Okay, maybe I was a bit 'too emotional' the other day. I can't handle stressors that well, I guess. Maybe I've been spending too much time lying around in my comfort zone...and the thought of giving it up, is just too painful. Bad. I should not feel that way at all knowing that I will not live in this world forever. Yet there I was, crying and breaking apart just because I am AFRAID of losing what I have right now. That is clearly a very 'worldly-perception'.

I wish I could turn back the time. If I'd known then how embarrassed I would be looking at you right now, I would definitely say yes to your proposal. Embarrassment would not be the only reason. To think it over, maybe that is what I need. Allah is answering my prayers... 'Ihdinas-Siraatal-Mustaqiim- (1:5) ....so, why am I running away from it?

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Friday, January 25, 2008

It was obvious that I was intrigued by the truth. Profoundly upset. Tears became my new best friend, my new salvation...the only reminder of yesterday. Tears that keep dragging me deep down in this emotional black hole.

Why? You might ask. Everything remains the same between you and me. Nothing will ever change.

Why? I might ask. Why now when I have give all my love to you. Why now when I am dependent on you for everything that I am. Why now when I had no one to turn to but you. Why?

You said you felt unburdened when you let me know. When you had told me the truth, you felt at ease.

What about me? The truth you told made me felt I've lost the person that I knew all these while. All these years doing almost everything together...made me doubt had you been truthful about everything; all those moments that we've shared are they for real?

Am I being selfish? Coward? Unjust? Unfair?

Tell these eyes that are crying..tell them why.
Tell this heart that is aching...tell it why.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

So What?

Oh, I am Still Not over Him - YET. But I am sure I will, someday. =)

Anyway, still struggling with everything in school.

Currently I am so angry with myself for being super LAZY. I wouldn't even walk to the bathroom though my bladder is super FULL.

Hopeless case. I need an energy booster of some sort.

I can feel no emotion towards the upcoming OCSE exam. Owh, but today I learnt about vein guttering and its relations with incompatible arteries. Yeay! Thanks Idah for pushing my lazy brain to think!

Had to answer Sarah's (the intern) bleeps (twice!) and I like it! Honestly, I am SO a professional - someone could hire me as secretary. Teehee..

Quoted from Nora: "I love our little attachment group!"

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Sunday, January 13, 2008

Come on, Grow UP!

There's this person, immature as he is; I still can't believe that he would be 24 this year. He always hated me since we were in 1st year. Out of whatever reasons he still hates me now.

A year ago he commented my blog saying things that really portray his disgust towards my mere existence. I stay low and was like..."Ok, whatever".

This year he emailed my friend saying how much he hated her. She, on the other hand didn't just sit around and accept it. In the end, he had to go and meet the Dean of Medicine for his offensive email. Serve him right.

Well, seems that he hated everyone.

I hope that he would just stop dwelling dangerously in his own world- seeing everyone as his opponent.

We are not living on a stupid chess board-we are humans with feelings. Act like one.

Peace.

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Sunday, January 06, 2008

It had been a while since-anything. My heart is dying..at least I feel like it. Looking ahead, I'd still look back to nowhere.

I cried in the train to Wien. I've shed too many tears that night, my eyes could cry no more.

Did I do the right thing?

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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Let me OFF, let me OFF!!

Okay, practically I am BROKE after 2 weeks of holidays and one fine 'boxing day'. Heh.

Everyone is entitled to their own political views. I am getting tired of them all. Can I say, I DON'T CARE (?).

I don't want to go back to Galway- just yet.

Mum, Dad.. I miss you.

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