b Purely Gibberish: November 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

wie kann ich dich vermissen

I'm impulsive in nature. So it's not a surprise that I just did something rather spontaneous and crazy. TOTALLY crazy. Let's see what's the other person have to say to that! *smirk*

Friday, November 28, 2008

Ready to roll...........and roll

"Not one heartbeat do I forget."
Mr F Darcy

After spending half the day rolling, sliding and listening to the not-so-gibberish talks by the manual handling nurses(and ALL other nurses who were attending the course), I felt so exhausted. Promise myself I'd never want to attend these kind of courses, ever again. Unless I am required to. Strictly. But then again, we were requested to attend this particular class in the first place. Pahhhh!

One good thing about going though was, I found out about the mini series - Lost In Austen. Ohhh Pamela dear, I'll forever be in your debt. It's been a while since I find any movie/tv series to be agreeable enough for me to concentrate on. But this time, I could do nothing but to fix my gaze on the screen. And drool...all over Mr Darcy....again and again and again. MR DARCY please MARRY ME and save me from my own imprudent world of over-romanticism!! Gosh I wish I am Amanda Price! *eyes rolling*

Grand, I wanted to get married with a fictional character. Am I so severe with my own disposition?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

"hey u rambut kerinting. hihi. comel je rambut u. geram i nak tarik. xpe2, nti u wat lawak vodo lg i tarik je rambut u tu. heee" - Cik NF

And what am I suppose to feel when she says those things to you?

Hmmm...it's time to put "us" aside - for a while. Farah, sila jangan berfikir yang bukan2 lagi.

Those muffins in CSI cafe are soooooooooooooooo delicious~!! Had one this morning and it was filled with choc eclairs....mmmmmmmmm..irresistible.

There's a scheduled field trip for us(those who're doing psych and are not away) this afternoon to a Day Center for people with learning disabilities- in Athenry. Before leaving the house, I realized that I had lost misplaced my mobile phone. Tried looking around my bedroom but it was not there. It's nearly 1:10pm and the bus is already waiting in front of the hospital. So, I decided to look for it later.

Hmmm..feels good to be outside Galway for a change (actually it feels good to be away from all those depressed people for a change). Seeing beautiful green fields, sheep, horses and cows along the way made me feel alive. *kalau pasang lagu Westlife, ohh syahdunyaa~*

When we got back from the trip, I suddenly realized that there was one more thing missing from my bag. My WALLET! I asked the kind 'uncles' at the counter in front of the CSI- just in case someone found my mobile + wallet and gave them to those uncles. Ninety-seven percent of the time that's where you'll find things you've lost in the CSI. Unfortunately the only missing items they're holding onto are bunch of keys. Keys? *Alicia Keys ade pakcik?* - Panggggg!! Sila jangan buat lawak bodo di sini.

Anyway, I took a deep breath and went home (wierd, I was not panic/stress/sad). "Mahu beli phone baru" hanya itulah yang 'mampu' saya fikirkan. Over and over. Haha! So we(Najmi and I) went home, checked the kitchen( but not the fridge this time around - long story). Wasn't there. Rampaged through my bag, again and again and again. Not there. *frown* Checked around the bedroom again. Nada.

So, we went back to the CSI and was going to look for the missing items in my locker/white coat. Ohhhhh my...found them alright, but guess where. No they weren't inside, instead they were found ABOVE MY LOCKER! - conveniently lying there for anyone to take. Nasib baik duk kat Ireland *ehem*.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Saya ada satu teka teki (originally from Mr Jawe);

"bintang berkelip air menitik aku rase ikan nak dtg"
apakah dia?

Last Sunday I bought a new wrist watch because I had accidentally(??) left the old one in a mosque in Germany. Poor thing, I wonder who has it now. Hopefully someone is taking good care of it. Anyway, thanks Idah for accompanying me across the town, helped me to choose one out of hundreds watches which is painful enough and finally for swiping yer CC without any second thoughts! One thing I realized is that I am very fond of men's watches. Seriously, theirs are waaayyy better designed than women's. Cool. Macho. Do I like being macho? Yes, most of the time I do =) Anyway, mine look more or less like this one. Sleek, smart and sangat macho kan? Plus I can change the strap to either black or brown. Convenient! Weeeee~
pembayang teka teki pertama: ia bermula dgn huruf D.
dah tau jawapannya?

Najmi and I were going through psych problem based learning (PBL) assignment just now. The patient was presented with few symptoms that is suggestive of schizophrenia. While reading about other positive schizo symptoms mentioned in the book, we've had encountered the word 'gustatory' hallucination and wasn't sure what does gustatory mean. Using one site called 'URBAN dictionary' ( ni Najmi la pakai ni) we got this definition:

the act of raping a goose or geese

so you can almost guess what were our reactions next.

"pervert punye site"

So, it's best to use a proper/'legal'/trusted online dictionary e.g. webster, onelook etc. (you know what I mean). Less likely to come out with misleading definition such as mentioned above.

Definition from m-w.com

Main Entry:
: relating to or associated with eating or the sense of taste

Kan senang. Hehehe
pembayang teka teki kedua: 2 perkataan..1 mula dgn D..ke 2 mula dgn P.
dah tau jawapannya???

We've had the first video session today. It's distressing enough to watch a playback of yourself conducting a session of history taking - and it's more disturbing when there are 13 other people watching it together with you! Ughhhh...eventhough the Doc says we all did an excellent history taking I can't help but to be more abusively critical towards myself considering the fact that I know I could've done better than what I already did. Hmmm...I sometimes hate the fact that I would be overly obsessed with perfection.

Nak tahu jawapan teka teki tadi??
jawapannya ialah

jeng jeng jeng

"bintang berkelip air menitik aku rase ikan nak dtg"

JAWAPANNYA yer kawan2 ialah..

Delusional Perception!

siapa dapat betul sila la persue psych sebagai karier masa depan anda.
sekian terima kasih

p/s: thanks Jawe for the riddle! I've had a really good laugh =))

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Saturday, November 22, 2008

Move ME

Didn't go out today. I blamed the Irish weather..and this too-comfortable duvet.

I miss playing basketball with the girls. Thinking about the game used to make my heart jump up with glee. Nowadays, my heart hardly leap for anything. Anhedonia - perhaps. Everyone is so busy with their own attachments nowadays and I rarely meet anyone else besides my own group members. I am getting so unfit that even a flight up the stairs leave me panting for minutes. Bother!

Intervarsity basketball tournament is coming up this January. Liyana had asked me to be one of the (is there going to be more than one team??) team captain. I've asked Izyan to tag along - as a secret weapon by the goal post (didn't tell her about this part though) - and she seems to be okay with that. When are we going to have our first practice? I don't know!! We need a team manager who can arrange bookings, practice sessions, etc. I wish we could still use the old gym. I just hate going to the Kingfisher's. It's too polished and grand looking (nothing is wrong with that, mind you). I just miss the scrappy ol' basketball court.

WHO WANTS to JOIN the Basketball team please raise up your hands.
Yeah right. Don't be too naive. Contact my number and we'll strike a deal - after I've made sure you can jump, run, squat and still remember how to smile. MEH!

Number is 085-7047743. Hit me babes~

p/s: Happy birthday Rina, hope you have a GREAT ONE! *hugs*

Friday, November 21, 2008

Internet Yang Sengal Menggigit - Rindu Di Hati Juga Mula Menggigit

Yes, it's that time of the year (again) when our internet connection would misbehave like a little brat. We're so used to it, right girls? *start pulling hairs and scream*

ANTM cycle 11, McKey WON! Yesssss~ I've been rooting for her from the very beginning and I just love her stunning tomboyish look (I love Majorie and Analeigh too..but, ohh well). Whatever others might say, I still think McKey deserve to win! *clap*clap*

I WANT to go to Salthill tomorrow and take pictures. Yeah! Tolongla, tau je sebenarnya nak pegi shopping kat town.

Rindu mama...rindu papa...rindu along...rindu duwah...rindu abang..rindu mokmon.. rindu K?

Hmm..suddenly I come to realize that my phone has been 'dead' since last night...no more of those text messages that would instantly lit up my face and make me smile. I really don't like this feelings. Missing someone terribly and not knowing whether that person misses you too. Boohoo~ (mesti dia sudah lupa pada saya yang tidak significant ni).

Jika namanya perempuan, hati yang keras seperti berlian pun akan luluh lebur jika sudah tertaut.

Baru satu hari kena tinggal, sengal betul.

Saya mahu terbang pulang!!!

p/s: Please don't laugh at me for being sentimental.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

I am as sick as a parrot

tension headaches


fine tremor

congested sinuses

general malaise

and tomorrow we have MCQ! sweet


2035pm: clearly takde keje nk buat agaknye walaupn esok ade minor exam. Saye kembali menulis2 di sini. Hapdate tak sudah2.

Saya tidak suka dengan status yang "pending" ini. Memang la go with the flow. Tetapi flow itu semacam tidak tentu hala buat masa ini atau mungkin terlalu sluggish untuk saya. But it could be that I am currently manic and think that everything is going too slow?! Ini ada normal insight atau tidak? Adoi. Anyway, baik saya jangan terlalu banyak fikir pasal ini semua, dan kembali ke pangkal jalan dengan kadar yang segera. Baca buku la oiiii!

Arghhhhhh! *Serabut kepala*

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Of Life, Friendship and Love

Trip to Germany had lead to many good things.

Of Love
I have finally found the so-much-needed inner peace - I now firmly believe that I am worthy of someone something better. I was so surprised that in the end I did not cry in front of him as I've had expected/feared for so many days. Our meetings had actually calmed the anguish I've had over these few months. I no longer hate myself unnecessarily - used to blame myself for being so immature and indecisive. And neither did I accuse him responsible for keeping me in the dark all these while - for letting me go when I needed him the most. In the end it was for the best. Time for me to look ahead and leave the past as it is. I wish him all the best for the future. Selamat berbahagia dengan teman hatimu! =)

Of Friendship
I had Isyqi for myself (finally!!) for three days. We exchanged stories and tales - about her, him, me, us, our Mr seventy-percents, them and everything under the sun. How I wish time would stop there and then so we could continue chatting. How I wish I could just stay there a bit longer. The countless trips to Aldstadt, the walk in the park, that spontaneous decision to go to Bamberg, all the shared laughter and wishes. Enormous amounts of secrets finally unburdened from our shoulders. I will treasure each and every little moment we spent together. Isyqi, I love you to bits. Thank you for the "doof tasse" and that special something inside - discovered hours after I arrived home. Thank you for spending countless hours with me, if only you'd knew how precious I felt each time you smiled at me. If only you'd knew how hard it was to climb on that train and leave you behind. Saya sayangggggg kamu Isyqi!

Of life
Many things I've discovered - about life generally. All these while I thought I'd never move on and too hard headed to change anyway. Many feared that this trip would drag me back to the endless black hole of misery; or at the very least crushes my pride to pieces. It did none. I realised that I've matured to yet another level and I owe it to everyone around me. Thank you Allah for sending Your love through these people. (To Aimee and Najmi: I WOULD definitely remember all of you in 50 years time - InsyaAllah kalau tak kene Alzheimer - that's how significant you guys are!) I can't believe all the advices that got into my stubborn head. Terima kasih semua!

So in summary I am HAPPY, contented, grateful, BLESSED and so much LOVED by everyone around me but usually I am so self-centered to realize this. Sorry.

Saya saaaayaaannng kamu semuaaaa!!

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Crazy Beautiful

Took my first psychiatric history today. Thank god Navid was with me or else there would be A LOT of awkward silence between me and the patient. She suffers from depression. She told us that most of the times she felt worthless and even at one point tried to kill herself by overdosing on her meds. Oh my, she is such a beautiful girl. On a few occasion, I wasn't even listening to her talking. All I could think of is how beautiful she looks.

*Sexual orientation check-up*

Still normal- phewwww~

Anyway, the moral of the story is there's nothing perfect in this world. You could look pretty from the outside but pretty rotten on the inside. Jangan menilai buku daripada kulitnya ya kawan-kawan!

But this lady is so nice that Navid and I both think she doesn't deserve this illness(ohh seperti menolak takdir pula) =(
Poor lady, hope she'd recover soon.

Oh ya, dua sebab untuk saya menjadi sangat elated today:
1) Saya akan terbang jauh esok, selamat tinggal Galway! =)
2) Hanya beberapa orang yang tahu sebab kedua, tapi jangan cuba korek rahsia ini dari mereka. Awas!

Hehe..happy weekend everyone, mine starts tomorrow and it ends on Monday.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

How can I focus on schizophrenia when THIS occupies my head - completely.
Ohhh tolonglah cik Farah, baca buku. Tolongggggggggggg =p

Can't wait to see that person I've been missing like crazy! Been to town with Amira and Belle to look for souvenirs, sorry Azraai I could not find the flipflops =(
On top of that, the girl at the counter kind of giving me the look (as if I've just landed from the moon) and said " I believe it's not the season for flipflops". I turned red on the spot. *ahhhh maluuuuuu nk pensan*

Sent that sacred text message this afternoon - to summarize, I am happy. Fullstop. Udah2 la cakap pasal benda ni. Stop making assumptions people, the most important thing is I am still the old me. Tiada apa yang berbeda. I will try to control my mood/behaviour next time, ok? Thank you for all the concern thoughts and those useful advices. I love you guys.

p/s: K, I miss you too.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Too Much Time to Be Wasted (not)

Okay, I've got to be honest. I am actually missing those pregnant bellies! Seriously, how will I cope with the mental wards, surrounded with depressed people and panic buttons(just in case). Can I please push MY panic button so that everyone will come and help? Teehee.. Send me over to those midwives, I don't mind pulling some hairs to get 100 more deliveries.

Intan said I can ask about our status indirectly. I am getting anxious as the text are getting more frequent. What does that mean? But to ask that person directly/indirectly...alamak maluuuuuuuuunye ("ohhhh..i feel stupid talking in bahasa!" *quote* Bwahahaha!!) Should I just keep this anxiety in my poor tummy?

This part of the world is getting colder and colder each day. I think I am going down with flu. Sore throat, aching limbs, high temp? Nooooooo..I want to go to Germany this Thursday - and I shall even if I had to wrapped myself in this thick duvet and board in that flight! Boohoooo =(

Isyqi, I am coming no matter what! And Azraai, you will get those flipflops as promised! (very determined)

Ohh..mahukah sesiapa pergi ke town bersama saya esok? *beating eyelashes*

Current situation:
Status: Sick
Mood: oh try to define it!
Lovelife: drama people dramatize everything. Bleaghh..and I am such a drama queen c(=
Financial status: wishing money will fall down from the sky *eyes rolling*

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Sunday, November 09, 2008

In German

N: Ohne Dich ist alles doof
K: mit ihnen ist alles wundervoll


Meine Liebhaber?

These could mean nothing OR these could mean everything. Please pray for me everyone =)


Saturday, November 08, 2008

Random Weekend.

I am SO unpredictable.

So unpredictable that I am going to Germany this Thurs 13th Nov '08.

How about that?


Thursday, November 06, 2008

Anybody There?

If only you knew how I hate these uncertainties.
 Should I ask you or should I not? 
As I come to realize these feelings would you not feel them too?
 I thought we've been walking along these same lane or did you just let me walk here on my own?

That's why I think I'm better left alone.

But if you were to ask me now, I'd say I do.

p/s: Oh I am such a drama queen! LoL

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

Wrapped up in Love and Blessings

In my room drinking coffee, listening to Etta James' At Last. Beautiful song. Tender and sweet serenading voice. Blissful moment.

Thank you to all the people who wished me 'Happy Birthday'. I sincerely LOVE each and every one of you.

p/s: Lets go out together next Friday after OSCE/MCQ~


Little that I realized, later that evening I was showered with more UNEXPECTED gift of love. Thanks Intan, Aimee, Najmi, Amira, Belle, Hani, Liyana, Idah, Jali and all the rest of the girls and boys who made d' 23rd as my happiest birthday ever!! *hugs*

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