b Purely Gibberish: January 2011

Monday, January 31, 2011

Malam2 oncall kt spital ni sume berbunyi, berupa, ber ape2 jelah - tp kesimpulannye serammmmmm. Nasib baik bukan kt hosp msia. Td ade family bace doa utk relative yg dying, bunyi cam dlm film exorcism. Perghhhhh meremang! Ok sila jgn fikir bukan2.

Aih, ade org kate aku kiut. Pergh, rs nk muntah pn ade ni. Bang, taulah kau rabun tp jgn la hina aku sampai cmtu skali. Sobs.

Esok nk pergi wayang sama aimee! Wweeeee! My mission to watch 1st movie w mr right is abandoned. As the pepatah would say, sila berpijak d bumi nyata. There is no mr right in this world!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Lately I feel so less motivated. I go to work but my heart is not in it. Poor patients...I just don't care anymore. Work is mild, I'm barely doing anything. My team members are so nice(!) so I know it's not them. It's me. I am not me anymore.

Everyday I go back to this empty home I wish I am still in 10 St Endas. I miss the good ol' student days. I miss my ol' housemates/underground family member. I miss our gossiping sessions, I miss our kitchen. I miss hanging out in Intan's room. I miss us watching movies together.

Come to think of it I don't know if I want to do this anymore. This. Being a doctor. All the six years of effort feels like nothing. I feel like I'm pretending to be a doctor. I am wearing a skin of a doctor but there is someone else underneath it.. (oh this better not be a schizophrenic symptoms!). Sigh..

Anyway I feel miserable and alone.

Maybe the bottom point to this is that - I feel alone.


...now don't say there's going to be sunshine after the rain! I am not having any of it.