Lately I feel so less motivated. I go to work but my heart is not in it. Poor patients...I just don't care anymore. Work is mild, I'm barely doing anything. My team members are so nice(!) so I know it's not them. It's me. I am not me anymore.
Everyday I go back to this empty home I wish I am still in 10 St Endas. I miss the good ol' student days. I miss my ol' housemates/underground family member. I miss our gossiping sessions, I miss our kitchen. I miss hanging out in Intan's room. I miss us watching movies together.
Come to think of it I don't know if I want to do this anymore. This. Being a doctor. All the six years of effort feels like nothing. I feel like I'm pretending to be a doctor. I am wearing a skin of a doctor but there is someone else underneath it.. (oh this better not be a schizophrenic symptoms!). Sigh..
Anyway I feel miserable and alone.
Maybe the bottom point to this is that - I feel alone.
...now don't say there's going to be sunshine after the rain! I am not having any of it.