Purely Gibberish: April 2006

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Mr. Coffee Java City...

My heart is blooming like these flowers.....when I saw Mr. Coffee smiling today. Heeheehee.... = ) Though the smile is not meant for me, the smile manage to brighten up my day anyway! Owh Mr. Coffee dear~

Did I not tell you about him? Well, probably later! :p

Note: Well, it turn out that today's weather is awful enough-raining whole day and no sunshine. But thanks to Mr. Coffee, I am the only one who has the glimps of the sun!! (6.00pm)

Saturday, April 29, 2006

What is happening?

Practically everyone in college is going through a very, very, very stressful stage of life right now-exam is getting close up front. In order to get an excellent result, people would do just about anything. Stay up memorising notes all night, stay in the library all day, get self-prescribe drug to improve long term memory, eat a lot of fish, anything!

What did I do myself? Well, let me think....I did went to the library-which is full of stressful faces all the time. I like to watch them by the way. Some of them look very busy indeed, writing frenziedly with papers scattered everywhere on their table. Some just stares emptily at I don't know what as if their notes are written on the empty air and they are the only one who can see it. Some look very relax, prepared and in control but some even look so panic, they can puke infront of their notes right there and then. I don't know I am in which category and let's not just ramdomly guess... :)

Few days ago, I was in the library as usual. The sun was glaring gayly in the blue sky. And I can see in everyone's face - the look. You know when you're a kid, you have to do your homework and couldn't watch tv until you are done-strict rule of the house.

But suddenly, you can hear your favourite show is on air- your yonger sister was watching it because she hasn't yet start school. You really wanted to screw the homework and go watch the tv instead. But, in the end you know you'll be scolded by your mom if you didn't do your homework properly. So, you just sit there in front of your book, your mind elsewhere, feel guilty occasionally and try to focus on the subject- that kind of look. Did you get what I mean?

It's always hard when the weather is so beautiful and you have to face the book instead. If you are living in Ireland, you'll understand what I mean about having a good weather and why is it so meaningful to have one...heheheh :D

I like this country-the scenery is unique, dare I say, one of a kind. But, the bills are ridiculous. When you want to terminate the phone line, you'll have to pay 'the termination bill'-which will cost you extra one month rental plus the bill you have to pay for the respective month itself. What is that? Same goes to the tax. I think 13.5% on VAT , is just too much. ESB is ripping off our allowance - which can be used to serve better purposes, like shopping...hehehe... Ehh we need clinical i.e. formal attire for clinical attachment next year-that is a valid reason to shop right? Hehehe.. ;p

About being in the library...well, lots of things happened there as well. Intan and I had made a lot of discoveries. We found our own Superman-he is currently a 1st year medical student. He closely resembles Tom Welling- yumm yummm...if I can touch that biceps of his..... Hahaha! Just kidding. I wouldn't dare to-or would I? Then, there were this trio-they will always sit at the same spot. We always notice them there, everyday, sitting together at the desks by the exit door and one day, we have to sit in front of them as our usual place had been taken- we had made yet another discovery. They stinks!! I almost puke- seriosly.

And then there is this guy- he resembles our Physiology lecturer, Dr. Leo Quinlan perfectly. His height, hair colour, eyes, everything! He is like the younger version of the actual Dr. Leo Quinlan. So, we dicide to call him Dr. Leo. Cute lad, but look very stressful yesterday. He even had to wear earplug and a cap which is drawn low enough to cover all of his side-glance view in order to concentrate on his note - hear no evil, see no evil. Hahaha!

Yesterday's weather was great as well.....and most people decide to study outside of the library instead. They really enjoy the nice weather. These are some pictures from yesterday. See what I mean...Irish really appreciate the nice weather!
Have to study now- later folks!

p/s: the last picture is the one I like the most - no particular reason, I just like it.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Don't Worry Be Happy

Every people I knew are either in the middle of their finals or their papers are due soon. ME too....arghhhh!!! I am in the midst of studying and cramming all in my head. Don't leave your studying for later folks. Start EARLY!!! Or else it'll haunts you, even in your sleep. Not that I am having that kind of trouble myself....hehehe =) Anyway, I wish everyone a very GOOD LUCK. Hope all ends well for you.

Labels: exam

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Hermmmm......about that.

About yesterday, actually I was dumbstruck at first. I read the comment thru and thru, and each time I read it, I felt like something tugging my little heart. It's painful and hard to recover. What did I do about it? I laughed...just to remind myself I still have some strength and courage to face this- both of which were diminishing each passing second. Devastated of what was written, I read it again a few times more just to make sure I was not dreaming. It's true. I wasn't dreaming about it at all. I can still read it this morning. There it is still, that anonymous comment.

It's an obvious thought what was playing in my mind yesterday as I read it. I really wanted to know who wrote that comment. I'd even probably will give out rewards for any person out there who can find out that for me. The fact that this person, let me just call 'X' seems to know me quite well, shoot my curiosity up that high. X knew that I once had a crush on Mr. E (let's not go thru that subject), X knew that I am half Javanese (on my mother's side). It's not like everyday I go around telling people I'm half Javanese and with whom I once had crushed on....you know, stuff like that-it's personal. Hahahhaa....now everyone knows!

Anyway, at the end, I did nothing to react physically to that comment. NONE. I didn't even try to delete it. I just stare at my computer skrin and read it over and over and over again; it's like a dialog of some famous actor/actress trying to reherse her/his line in order to find a suitable tone that suits the mood. X knows me (I hope so), and is trying hard to remind me that fact- almost like shouting, "I know you and you know me!". Well to tell you the truth, I still can't figure out who wrote that comment and I've already gave up trying-hours ago. I don't know who are you anonymous commenter. Period.

When something happened to us- something that we don't want to happen, but do occur in some stage of our lives, we will be devastated. Anger rose beyond limit and self esteem dropped lowest, down to our heel. We felt humiliated and betrayed. Well, during that situation we tend to blame other people instantly. Merely saying to ourselves, that probably the thing that happens is for a good reason. Saying this, I did too look at the mirror yesterday and ask myself, probably this happen for a good reason. If no one reminded me, then I will never know my mistakes. But, does it have to be so cruelly done? Sad.

About jealousy, well I do think all of us will need it to survive in this world-or else we wouldn't even care about living at all! Don't you think so too? But, it's a matter how we channel the jealousy - towards positivity or negativity. Positivity will make us strive for the better and work hard to succeed. Negatively channeled jealousy is indeed very dangerous. It will destroy oneself and the people who are around that person as well.

About feeling hatred or anger, well that is another issue X has to deal with isn't it? Well, I think if you have any problem with me or anyone else; I think that person you are angry with will really appreciate it if you would confront them-face to face rather doing something like this. Trying to let the public know how bad the other person is, that is in fact probably due to some misunderstandings. For the record, it shows lack of courage and integrity. Enough said.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

What the???

This is what I did yesterday. Hehehe...stalking the lads across the street- just for fun, no other reason(I think), mind you. It's quite an adventure, really. Being the person who watches, not the person who is being watched. I felt more superior. Oh yes, this is Liam. The one I had mentioned once. He is our landlady/landlord's son. Nice lad, love to smile and friendly too.

We went to the old house yesterday to check out if there are any bills or letters for us. Yes, there were a few junk letters from An Post about tv licence. For goodness sake, for the last time - WE DO NOT HAVE ANY TV!!!!!. Electricity bill from ESB is costing us a fortune. There were some advertisment flyers as well...and suddenly, I noticed a postcard. It was from my friend who is currently studying psychology in Adelaide, Australia. Yeay!! A postcard for ME~!!! She apologizes for her misbehaviour towards me months ago-I don't mind anyway, no worries(I'm an understanding person, honestly!). She said she was having depressive personality disorder during that time( I have it all the time-hehehe).

Nowadays, any medical term is useful as an excuse, don't you think so? My physiology lecturer once mentioned that PMS is an acceptable excuse for a woman(currently in menstrual cycle ONLY) if she accidently kills someone, and that is written in code of law. Fancy that. That reminds me of the movie 'Keeping Mum'. Starring Rowan Atkinson, Maggie Smith and few other actors/actresses. Hillarious! You should watch it. It's about killing people too- it's a very cute movie. Sorry, I am having PMS as well, that is why I think killing people is cute. Du'hh!

Have this ever cross your mind before? What do you get if you cross these faces :
74% Aaliyah + 73% Mariah Carey +70% J Lo + 66% Christy Turlington + 67% Beyonce +62% Michelle Yeoh + 70% Lucy Liu = ?
Well, to give you an honest answer, it is actually equals to ME , hahahhaha....bet you didn't think of that at all~!!! Me too!! Actually, you must be wondering what am I talking about. I am definitely NOT making this up. All the fact can be found here. Try it yourselves and tell me, which celebrity you too, resemble. Hehehehe... =)

Now, I am going out with Najmi- AGAIN! When will I study???? God knows....

Note:thanks for the postcard dear, I'll write to you soon.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Crazy mixed Up Curry plus Crazy People

There is no other great combination than having your friends coming by for 'house warming party' plus tasty food to suit the occasion. We've had loads of fun....or is it only me who was having fun? Heheheh....anyway who did come today, you know who you are. Thanks for coming by and the food you did bring along. Hope you guys enjoy tonight's dinner. For the people who weren't here tonight, we are verrryyy sorry because you miss one heck of fish head curry! Hehehehe =)

Note: Welcome to Galway, Miss A...can I mention your name? :)

Labels: food, friendship

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Joy of Moving Out.

We've had finally moved in to this new house. The feeling is just overwhelming. Joy and happiness collide and our laughter just exploded in the end of the day when we've had settled in this house-after a tiring session of cleaning up both of the houses; eating away maggi mee for dinner, at the end we felt we found our home. It was last Friday. This utter happiness is probably due to the fact that this new house is thousand times more comfortable compared to the old house. The interior is just excellent. Reminiscent of an old English house, yet the sophisticated furnishings bring slight of modern touch and this house stood up beyond the rest-yes, I am exaggerating just a bit. What am I trying to say anyway, this new house is just-superb. Period.

Oh, how easily I forgot. No matter how bad the old house was, we've all had created our memories there. Footprints of our joyous and sad reminiscences, kept safely within that house. In that big (now is abandoned) house, we confront the fears of living lives as second med students - not that the journeys are over for us, but almost. Moreover, in that very house, we had also known each other. Sharing secrets and wishful thinking, I never regret my decision choosing to be one of their housemate. Now at this stage of time, all of us treat each other as more than normal friends; perhaps like sisters. We've been through a lot of obstacle in life together, experience that no other people can take away from us.

I can still remember the day when I was unpacking my stuff in that old house. I was so exhausted after a very long journey from Malaysia, yet the joy of finally settling in that house had overcome the tiredness. My old room was still empty back then. I kept on smiling, the first thing I did was putting up the new curtains that my mother sewn for me the day before my flight to Dublin. As days went by, I began filling the room with lots of junks. New small metal stool, rattan waste basket, beanbag, asplenium; you name it. And suddenly I was packing up all my stuff -"I am about to leave this room, permanently", that's all that was playing in my mind. Finally, when everything was already sent away to the new house; I can't help feeling despair as I took out the very same curtains down, fold it and put it in my luggage where it finally rest there. The curtains are red and the new room is bright yellow-it woudn't match anyway.

Now, I am in my new room, looking out at the old house. The house looks very lonely indeed. No more lights shines from any of the rooms during the night. I hope it can find itself new tenants that will treat it nicely and laugh a lot like we did when we were there, so that it won't be lonely anymore. My new room is cozy and warm, I can't help it but to adapt to it ever so quickly, nevertheless in some way I miss the old room and can't help it but to recall the days when I was jumping around in it - the joy of only I would understand.

Goodbye St. Anne (as the old house is called), hope the mould won't eat you up.

Note: The old room is the top photo, bottom one is my new room.

Labels: life

Thursday, April 06, 2006

LOVE...is the truth really is out there? Actually, shall I say, is the one for me really is out there?

I've been browsing some of my friends' page in friendster-when I should be studying!!-but it doesn't matter now-eh, it matters, but I will study later. After I am done with this post-maybe. hehehhe =)

Okay, okay..now back to the purpose why am I writing this. Oh yes, I was browsing some of my friend's page in friendster-I have mention that. Sorry. Anyway, while I was looking around, I can't help but to notice my secondary school junior's page,what actually caught my eye was, her picture with her boyfriend-what a cute looking couple.

We both were once went to the same school. I knew her somewhat because she is my sister's classmate. She is normal, ordinary girl. Though she seems like having sugar-high moment now and then-she is quite a chatter, fancy having me saying that. But that is not the whole point . The point is she has found the love of her life-in Switzerland! She has found love in Switzerland, with a cute looking local citizen of Switzerland!!! What is she doing there in Switzerland? I am not really sure, but what's more important is, two souls having saperated across the world all these while had finally found each other. And eventhough both of them are just 19 years old, and have a lot ahead of them(probably will find other love eventually)-it doesn't matter, yet. They have found each other. Right now, they have each other to go through life with. They have each other to cuddle, muddle, doodle or whatever lovers do when they are in love. And probably, he is THE ONE for her....and she is just 19 years old. I am darn jealous.

Is there really is THE ONE for me out there? If there is such a person, I really, really, really wanted to give him a piece of my mind-for keeping me waiting these long. Yes, I've never practically involve with anyone ever-laugh as you want. And I'll be 21 this year and I am now feeling really insecure. I have gone across the world(kind of) if that is what it takes to find him-yet here I am, all alone. God, I am getting tired of waiting... can I cry now? I don't want lust(which there is a lot to be found), that will not suffice lonely heart- but only adding pain to it. I want true love(who didn't)-my own prince charming who will take me out of this misery-my life in fact is not that miserable,mind you. But, I guess God know what's best for me and I am willingly accepting my fate(though I whine a little bit), deep inside I truly am accepting it. Probably, I am not ready for love yet. And probably I will find love when I least expected- who knows. And, yes I will still wait for THE ONE, my other half Allah have created, to love and to cherish...and to nag sometimes ;p

Back to the most important thing. STUDIES. Hurmm...I think I want to finish this novel first-Spiral by Koji Suzuki-sequel of the Ring. Have you watched that horror, unpleasent movie about that haunted video-tape? Well, I will now read the sequel of that. I should finish it last night, but was too scared and end up watching movie instead. 3 movies infact. Hehehe...talking about studying as priority. Oh yes, tonight is the last night I'll be spending in this house. I will miss this pink room of mine dearly, but my new room across the street is looking fantastic as well. It should be okay I guess.

Labels: love

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

NOTHING done again!!

It's been 4 days since the holiday begin. It is not suppose to be a holiday anyway. We still have final papers due next month. Exactly a month from today. So, we still have to study, no such thing as holiday,and I think I've had enough rest already. Let's study. Darn~! The sun is shining brightly, the sky is bluest of blue. How can you just sit around and study? It's too tempting to go outside and play!-ehem, I don't mean that literally...hehehhe =)

Anyway, I did went out with Najmi on the other day, I can't remember when. So, I have no excuse to NOT studying today, but my brain is still on HOLIDAY mode. Need to set it back to EXAM mode....please,please study dear brain! Absorb this information I am feeding you. Gagaga..this is what I've been doing this whole day. TRYING to force and stuff my brain up. Poor little fella~ but dear brain of mine, you know that I don't have no other choice? -Fancy talking to my brain, I am starting to lose my mind......help~ seek asylumn with good looking psychiatrist in it to look after me...hehehe

When you are going to study, make sure only IMPORTANT things are around you, such as your BOOKS, NOTES, writing pad, etc. etc. This is an ADVICE to myself actually. What had happened today was, my book was wide open in front of me, so as my dear LAPTOP nicely turned on beside me - a very bad combination to begin with. Firstly, my eyes were concentrating on the important information in the book, trying to cram everything into my brain. All of a sudden, I was facing my laptop playing freecell. When did this happen? I know I was looking at my book all these while. I am preeetty sure of that. Why am I suddenly playing freecell here-hurmm,I wonder.....

My hands must have a mind of their own. They wanted to play, but the more the merrier-they know that. So, they decided to drag my brain together with them too. My brain tried hard to resist at first and kept on concentrating on the notes, but after a while this poor brain of mine couldn't handle the tempation no more and gave up. So, I end up playing freecell, this whole day today without getting any other job done. It all make sense right? That is the only explaination I can come out with. I can't think of other reason. Can you?

Note to self:hurry up look for that asylumn with good looking psychiatrist in it, just in case. Probably, I should post it in some newspaper classified under 'desperately wanted' section.

Labels: exam

Monday, April 03, 2006

Silence..

Silence is sometime more meaningful than hours of conversations, someone once said to me. Not having to lie,cheat or hurt other people's feelings-just by being a silent listener. I, on the other hand, love to talk. For me, being able to talk is the true meaning of living my life. Hehehe.... ;)
Have you ever met a person who can talk non-stop for a whole day? No? Well, you haven't met me yet.

I've once had attended a class of which a General Practitioner(GP) gave a brief lecture about her days work. Upon giving her lectures, she stop and asked "How long do you think the time a GP would spent per patient?". Simple question. I answered, "30 minutes". Wrong. A girl answered, " An hour". Waayyy over the time limit. She said, a GP can only spend at most 10 minutes per patient. All of us who attended the lecture were quite shocked. How does a GP manage to get everything done in that short period? "Hi, good morning Mr X. How are you keeping on?". Two minutes at least. Then the patient would answer, of course wanting to tell everything to the GP. "Oh doctor, I think I am not feeling well. The other day...blah blah blah..".This would take at least half an hour right? Wrong. The GP told us that, if we were to leave a patient talking-without interupting, she/he will finish telling us(the doctors and doctors wannabe) everything in less than 2 minutes. Are you sure? She has been a GP for more than 5 years. She is very sure-why shouldn't I?

I have no problem with that. Okay,10 minutes it is per patient~But my problem is-the interupting part. As i said before, I love to talk. It's my purpose of living. In order to have only ME talking, other people have to listen right? How can I allow only my patients talk? I need my time to talk as well. I need to........hermm, oh well,I really have to improve my listening skill. Period.

Note to self: listen more and talk less, I can do it~! =)

Labels: life

Sunday, April 02, 2006

New Skin, Same Ol' Me

I have dedicated this whole day today just to update my page. But I don't know how to put the link "comment" in this page. Tee hee.... ;)

I'll try to put it tomorrow, and if I still can't...well, I'll try harder! gambatte kudasai~!!

Note: I manage to figure it out five minutes later...woohoo!! Keep those comments posted please!! Thanks ;)

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I have been feeling particularly lonely today. Been on my bed this whole day, doing nothing. Most probably I am suffering the aftermath of having a terrible fever. The headache was unbearable. Should I have some more beauty sleep? Hehehe =)

Oh yes, about feeling lonely. Well, I don't really know the reason why. I have called my mom yesterday, everyone back home is okay. Safe and sound. So, I think it is not about missing or worrying about my family-not that I don't miss them-the feeling today is just different. I hate it when I can't figure out myself. And this does happen often enough to get on my nerves. Do I need other people's view of my own feeling? I am so pathetic if that is the case. But everyone kept telling me that they can see right through me. Like mind-reading or something. One person in particular even said I am not good in hiding my thought and feelings. Am I that superficial? So, why couldn't I understand myself still? Until this very moment living my life as me, I still can't figure out what kind of person I am. What do I need in life, why I behave that way, or this way? I do not know.

Certainly I don't know what other person is thinking when they look at me. If you pass by a stranger, he then looks at you. What do you think that stranger was thinking? Is it about you? Or is it his mind is actually wondering off somewhere, not even thinking about you for a mere second. Would you mind, or curious to know what that person think either if it's bad or not? Well, when I look at someone that I pass by, sometimes, I did think something about that person. Where is he from or why he is in such a hurry, or is she missing someone that she is looking so gloomy like that? I wish someone would stop me and ask me what I think about them. I don't know why. I just wanted to. Not that I want it to happen the other way around. I would not dare to ask a stranger what he thinks of me, though I am very curious indeed.

Sometimes when I am alone, I think I'm that stranger. And have had a look at myself; I can't figure out the person whom I was looking at, because she is - a stranger. I neither think bad about her nor think that she is good. She is just another person I bump into today. Nothing special or particularly outstanding. And I still can't figure out myself. Boohoo.

Purely Gibberish