PACAT-o-PHOBIA

Saya rasa saya boleh masuk kategori wanita gagah.

Saya telah menawan gunung kinabalu dengan rekod masa yang boleh dibanggakan.

Saya boleh mengangkat fries 10 kilo/milo@nestea 10L dengan muka selamba gle (zaman kerja kat McD dlu).

Saya pernah mendapat tempat ke-enam semasa marathon di skolah dulu.

Saya pernah turut serta dalam pemilihan calon Akademi Tentera Malaysia dan lulus dengan cemerlang..tapi ahh..tiada jodohku di situ..

Saya tidak pernah tahu saya tidaklah gelap sangat pun sampailah belajar kat Ireland ni, sebab mase sekolah dulu asyik berjemur sampai hangus..(kawad, netball etc.)

Saya rasa saya wanita gagah...jugakla...bleh tahan la.

Tapi..siapa tahu rupanya saya wanita gagah yang akan menjerit ketakutan ble terjumpa pacat [& lintah, slug, gamat dan makhluk2 sewaktu dengannya].

Geli ok!

tolong jangan gelakkan saya.

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Ok, now lets talk about serious matters. Today my curiosity had dragged me to - a blog. Yes, a blog. Nothing is particularly special about this blog (or the writer whom apparently went to the same college as me and bound to be very popular due to his good looks). One thing bout this blog that had struck me was the latest entry with an eye-catching title - "Desperate Housewives". In it he rambles about how us i.e. women in general- our ultimate aim is just to get married to a nice guy and be a good housewives no matter how smart/dean-listed/holding multiple degrees etc.[u know what I mean] we are .We just want to be a good housewives and raise our kids at home.

And what is wrong about wanting that??

He also said "most women he knows forget about their ambitions and aim when they had settled down".

Apparently you have a very short list of female acquaintance, boy.

Well, maybe I was being tooooooooo overreacted about this. I should read the whole entry after I'm done feeling sorry for myself for wanting to become a housewife too. WOAH! and then maybe I would be able to digest his intentions of writing such entry.

MAKAN

I really miss my compact camera..(so much!)..'cos it's hard to self-cam with a DSLR! hehe..

Neway, today we had another BBQ. Ya la it was sooooo much fun and sedap seriously but it would be much better if one other housemate was around.. Cik Mee mee, hope you're having a great time at home too! ( but I bet you are enjoying every second of blissfulness di Malaysia, kan? *wink*)

London..banyaknye hassle..*sigh*

The other day in ortho theater- felt so blessed...reason:
1) ortho docs are mostly men (and kacak e.g. Dr Noel, Mr Kaaaaar..hehe) plus one female SHO...so me being the only other female..pendek cerita, I LOVE getting all the attention
2) I ask to scrub in one and they invited me to scrub in for another operation (yiiieee!!)
3) I got to suture, cautherize oozing blood vessel and help out a lot =)
4) They included me even in the silliest conversation..hehehe.. Mr Curtin klaka ok!

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Ma, cepatla balik I miss you!!!!

Malam yang sepi-pi-pi..pak mat jual kopi-pi-pi

Dah malam2 ni takbleh tido pulak. Terlebih excited nak balik msia agaknye. 29 hari lagi, countdown bermula~

Macam2 nak buat, banyak tempat nk pegi, sume bende nak makan....dalam mase sebulan. Hehe~

Galway panas, 22 darjah celcius. Esok 25 darjah pulak. Minum air barli sat tadi, kate boleh menyejukkan badan..

Ntah dengan sape aku attach esok kat Merlin Park tu, sungguh kurang bersopan tidak bertanya awal-awal.

Minggu depan - London |9-10 Jun| (ni sume sebab passport la..hadei..mensusahkan diri btul) - pastu Paris pule |12-14Jun|. Nak shooting lapan ratus keping gambar. Bleh?

Aiyad nak kawennnnnn! Tahniah. Ehem. Jom buat rombongan ke utagha~

THEN

The last time I had fell for my best friend, I swore never to do it again. Feelings had accidentally developed and they were beyond my control. It was indeed a mistake I fated to make, an ordeal I meant to experience in order to mature. I still shudder whenever I think about the day when we had to bid farewell. It was so hard not to leap in the stupid rebound phase of wanting to run to his embrace and stay there. Tears had been a constant companion I could never live without.

We occasionally say ‘hi’ but not a day went by that I didn’t regret my silly confession. If only I didn’t utter my hearts content, maybe we would still have each other shoulders to cry on.

No worries, I've long accepted the fact that there could be nothing between us. I was too young and silly.


NOW

Inexplicable feelings are soaking my poor heart; poisoning my consciousness and blurring my judgments. Without realizing I am seemingly falling for my best friend again. Different person but the same ‘missing’, ‘wanting’ and ‘longing’ applies. I want to run away.

If only I could run away.

They said....

"I'm as big as Lorry,
When I walk pass by they could feel the inertia I've created- WHOOSH~!

I'm three times the size I was last year,

and my clothes all seems to shrink down

all my housemates look so undeniably thin...except for me who is obviously out of proportion"

..oh, thanks for all the confidence boosters guys.


The only word you guys haven't used to tie all these together is - FAT!

Yes I'm fat!!!
*sigh*



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oh, yea...happy belated Birthday Cik Aimee!

"live long and prosper"/"Dif-tor heh smusma"*sambil membuat isyarat tangan seperti gambarajah di atas*

Hehehehe...sila la jangan marah ek!! =p

Sebelum menjadi Mayat

Kasihan aku tengok mayat2 tadi. Mereka mayat2 yang tak berkubur. Tapi sudah menjadi nasib mereka. Selamanya mereka kaku menggayakan aksi pelbagai; main tenis, main bola tampar la, duk termenung pn ade, yang macam hantu penanggal pun ade...(kalau tak percaya tanye aku)

Sudahlah begitu, setiap satunya disiat2, dikerat2 dan dibahagi2 sesuka hati. Kesian mayat2 itu. Oh!

Tapi kalau letak mayat ayam ade orang nk datang tgk ke?

Part yang paling aku kagum section arteries tu...

Tapi encik penjual tiket, apesal mahal sungguh harga tiketnye???

----luahan perasaan penulis setelah pulang dari pameran mayat di dublin------

Hmm..terpegang pulak part 'love handle'(menurut kate rafiq/nasrul) sendiri. Ahh..teringat mayat makcik potong tiga yang lemak dibawah kulitnya secara general setebal 1 inci setengah, dan lemak di 'love handle'nya pula setebal tiga inci.

*Gulp!*

Oh, esok kene pegi jogging lagi ni.

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Nota kaki: Kalau rancangan Jalan-jalan Cari Makan dah glamer mase kecik2 dlu mesti cita2 aku nk jadik Maria Tengku Sabri.

Semalam aku mimpikan kau lagi.

Entah kenape akhir-akhir ni asyik mimpi pasal kau. Ade skali mimpi jumpe mak ayah kau. Pastu mimpi jumpe kau lagi. Pastu aku mimpi jumpe lelaki idaman malaya.

Yang penting aku dah rimas tak tahan dengan mimpi yang berulang2 ni. Bukan aku tak pernah cube berbaik. Aku aje ke yang pernah lukakan hati kau? Ahh..malas aku nak tuding jari.

Aku sedih.

Kalau nak ikutkan ego aku, jangan harap aku nak senyum pun kat kau. Kalau ikut perangai aku yang lama dah lama kau kene tengking. Aku teriak depan muka kau sampai tersembur air liur. Tapi kenapa nak buat camtu? Kite dah besar bukan budak sekolah menengah. Kalau nk ikutkan kau dah bleh buat 2-3 orang anak dah umo2 camni. Ape la yang ko nk emosi sangat?

Mungkin aku aje yang rase camni, tapi aku rindu nak berborak dengan kau.

Aku rase aku ni dah makin tua. Cepat terasa hati. Aku harap kau dah maafkan aku sebenarnye...aku taknak mati dan meninggalkan kebencian kat dunia ni.

Mungkin aku tak layak rase macam ni tapi aku sayang kau kawan.