You Want to Know Why Exactly??
Dear,
Funny you should ask me "that question" because "that question" had been bothering my mind for quite some time now. Thinking each time when "that question" slip its way towards my consciousness and if I tell you the truth about it, I will joepardize this whole friendship. So, whenever "that question" pops up, I'd shut my mind off doing something else that can make me- not to think about it. A t a l l. But when you asked me "that question" this morning, I can't help myself but to wonder; "Did I manage to shut it off my mind, ever?". I realize, I never did.
Seriously, you're one of the most important person in my life. Serious enough to confess that one of the reason I turn on my laptop each morning is just to see you online. Serious enough to admit that I actually feel sad and whenever you're not around. You've given me more than enough reason to smile just when you said "hi".
You're like a gift from the Lord. Comforting me when things get rough. Giving me enough courage to make me feel I can face anything. Believe in me even when nobody else did. Each time you're there for me and listening to my stupid ramblings, I just want to get down on my knee and cry. I can never give enough of my most sincere prayer to the Lord for giving me this chance to know such person whom I think I don't deserve-at all.
I am not questioning why but I just cannot grasp the reality. How such a wonderful person kept standing by me-through tears and joy. We're even hardly know each other! (1 year 8 days as of today-to be exact). And yet, you're so utterly sweet and understanding as if you've known me for your whole life.
Somehow and during those times you were sincerely being a friend to me, I secretly fell for you. I felt that somehow I've betrayed that beautiful friendship and I can't help but to feel disgust and angry for what I am feeling. There you are offering me your kinship with the purest intention and here I am ruining that beautiful friendship with this shameful lust towards you. I can't help it but to feel guilty-I've betrayed your trust.
I felt guilty enough that last night I deleted you from my messenger list. That my friend, is the exact reason you're looking for. I wish I can hide it, but the more I tried the guiltier I felt.
There. I don't know what to expect from this but I pray for the best outcome. I am sorry.
(wish I can call you instead and say these but I didn't have the courage to. Haha)
Dear,
Funny you should ask me "that question" because "that question" had been bothering my mind for quite some time now. Thinking each time when "that question" slip its way towards my consciousness and if I tell you the truth about it, I will joepardize this whole friendship. So, whenever "that question" pops up, I'd shut my mind off doing something else that can make me- not to think about it. A t a l l. But when you asked me "that question" this morning, I can't help myself but to wonder; "Did I manage to shut it off my mind, ever?". I realize, I never did.
Seriously, you're one of the most important person in my life. Serious enough to confess that one of the reason I turn on my laptop each morning is just to see you online. Serious enough to admit that I actually feel sad and whenever you're not around. You've given me more than enough reason to smile just when you said "hi".
You're like a gift from the Lord. Comforting me when things get rough. Giving me enough courage to make me feel I can face anything. Believe in me even when nobody else did. Each time you're there for me and listening to my stupid ramblings, I just want to get down on my knee and cry. I can never give enough of my most sincere prayer to the Lord for giving me this chance to know such person whom I think I don't deserve-at all.
I am not questioning why but I just cannot grasp the reality. How such a wonderful person kept standing by me-through tears and joy. We're even hardly know each other! (1 year 8 days as of today-to be exact). And yet, you're so utterly sweet and understanding as if you've known me for your whole life.
Somehow and during those times you were sincerely being a friend to me, I secretly fell for you. I felt that somehow I've betrayed that beautiful friendship and I can't help but to feel disgust and angry for what I am feeling. There you are offering me your kinship with the purest intention and here I am ruining that beautiful friendship with this shameful lust towards you. I can't help it but to feel guilty-I've betrayed your trust.
I felt guilty enough that last night I deleted you from my messenger list. That my friend, is the exact reason you're looking for. I wish I can hide it, but the more I tried the guiltier I felt.
There. I don't know what to expect from this but I pray for the best outcome. I am sorry.
(wish I can call you instead and say these but I didn't have the courage to. Haha)
posted by fAraHnaDiaH at
12:01 PM
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