Hermmmm......about that.
About yesterday, actually I was dumbstruck at first. I read the comment thru and thru, and each time I read it, I felt like something tugging my little heart. It's painful and hard to recover. What did I do about it? I laughed...just to remind myself I still have some strength and courage to face this- both of which were diminishing each passing second. Devastated of what was written, I read it again a few times more just to make sure I was not dreaming. It's true. I wasn't dreaming about it at all. I can still read it this morning. There it is still, that anonymous comment.
It's an obvious thought what was playing in my mind yesterday as I read it. I really wanted to know who wrote that comment. I'd even probably will give out rewards for any person out there who can find out that for me. The fact that this person, let me just call 'X' seems to know me quite well, shoot my curiosity up that high. X knew that I once had a crush on Mr. E (let's not go thru that subject), X knew that I am half Javanese (on my mother's side). It's not like everyday I go around telling people I'm half Javanese and with whom I once had crushed on....you know, stuff like that-it's personal. Hahahhaa....now everyone knows!
Anyway, at the end, I did nothing to react physically to that comment. NONE. I didn't even try to delete it. I just stare at my computer skrin and read it over and over and over again; it's like a dialog of some famous actor/actress trying to reherse her/his line in order to find a suitable tone that suits the mood. X knows me (I hope so), and is trying hard to remind me that fact- almost like shouting, "I know you and you know me!". Well to tell you the truth, I still can't figure out who wrote that comment and I've already gave up trying-hours ago. I don't know who are you anonymous commenter. Period.
When something happened to us- something that we don't want to happen, but do occur in some stage of our lives, we will be devastated. Anger rose beyond limit and self esteem dropped lowest, down to our heel. We felt humiliated and betrayed. Well, during that situation we tend to blame other people instantly. Merely saying to ourselves, that probably the thing that happens is for a good reason. Saying this, I did too look at the mirror yesterday and ask myself, probably this happen for a good reason. If no one reminded me, then I will never know my mistakes. But, does it have to be so cruelly done? Sad.
About jealousy, well I do think all of us will need it to survive in this world-or else we wouldn't even care about living at all! Don't you think so too? But, it's a matter how we channel the jealousy - towards positivity or negativity. Positivity will make us strive for the better and work hard to succeed. Negatively channeled jealousy is indeed very dangerous. It will destroy oneself and the people who are around that person as well.
About feeling hatred or anger, well that is another issue X has to deal with isn't it? Well, I think if you have any problem with me or anyone else; I think that person you are angry with will really appreciate it if you would confront them-face to face rather doing something like this. Trying to let the public know how bad the other person is, that is in fact probably due to some misunderstandings. For the record, it shows lack of courage and integrity. Enough said.
About yesterday, actually I was dumbstruck at first. I read the comment thru and thru, and each time I read it, I felt like something tugging my little heart. It's painful and hard to recover. What did I do about it? I laughed...just to remind myself I still have some strength and courage to face this- both of which were diminishing each passing second. Devastated of what was written, I read it again a few times more just to make sure I was not dreaming. It's true. I wasn't dreaming about it at all. I can still read it this morning. There it is still, that anonymous comment.
It's an obvious thought what was playing in my mind yesterday as I read it. I really wanted to know who wrote that comment. I'd even probably will give out rewards for any person out there who can find out that for me. The fact that this person, let me just call 'X' seems to know me quite well, shoot my curiosity up that high. X knew that I once had a crush on Mr. E (let's not go thru that subject), X knew that I am half Javanese (on my mother's side). It's not like everyday I go around telling people I'm half Javanese and with whom I once had crushed on....you know, stuff like that-it's personal. Hahahhaa....now everyone knows!
Anyway, at the end, I did nothing to react physically to that comment. NONE. I didn't even try to delete it. I just stare at my computer skrin and read it over and over and over again; it's like a dialog of some famous actor/actress trying to reherse her/his line in order to find a suitable tone that suits the mood. X knows me (I hope so), and is trying hard to remind me that fact- almost like shouting, "I know you and you know me!". Well to tell you the truth, I still can't figure out who wrote that comment and I've already gave up trying-hours ago. I don't know who are you anonymous commenter. Period.
When something happened to us- something that we don't want to happen, but do occur in some stage of our lives, we will be devastated. Anger rose beyond limit and self esteem dropped lowest, down to our heel. We felt humiliated and betrayed. Well, during that situation we tend to blame other people instantly. Merely saying to ourselves, that probably the thing that happens is for a good reason. Saying this, I did too look at the mirror yesterday and ask myself, probably this happen for a good reason. If no one reminded me, then I will never know my mistakes. But, does it have to be so cruelly done? Sad.
About jealousy, well I do think all of us will need it to survive in this world-or else we wouldn't even care about living at all! Don't you think so too? But, it's a matter how we channel the jealousy - towards positivity or negativity. Positivity will make us strive for the better and work hard to succeed. Negatively channeled jealousy is indeed very dangerous. It will destroy oneself and the people who are around that person as well.
About feeling hatred or anger, well that is another issue X has to deal with isn't it? Well, I think if you have any problem with me or anyone else; I think that person you are angry with will really appreciate it if you would confront them-face to face rather doing something like this. Trying to let the public know how bad the other person is, that is in fact probably due to some misunderstandings. For the record, it shows lack of courage and integrity. Enough said.
posted by fAraHnaDiaH at
6:41 AM
1 Comments:
hi dr farah
its me again, from tijuana te saludo.
is nice your nee template, this is only to say hola.
see you again :D
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