All I need was some time Alone.
I was walking home, all alone from my friend's house in Ardillaun a few minutes ago, and Alhamdulillah, I was given a chance by Him to reflect my life- all along the way back to Shantalla(where I live). I was thinking about things in the past, what is happening to me now and I wonder what lays ahead of me in the future. The full moon was shining brightly, I feel like crying-there and then. The world is so beautiful, I wonder why I always forgot that. At that moment, I felt so content yet so empty-I even prayed for someone that would walk beside me, sharing thoughts and feelings that no one else would understands. The air was cold and the gentle wind lightly caressing my face. I just love that moment. Being there at that time. The street was empty except for occasional taxis that pass by hurriedly-probably taking someone back from the pub, or to the pub, I don't know the exact time these Irish people go out partying.
Ten minutes later, I walked pass by Linda's place-it's actually used to be Linda's place, because now she is now back in Finland-her home country. I can still remember a few things about Linda, my only bestest-non-Malaysian-friend when I was in first year. She is all about smiling, friendly, caring and positive thinking, that she and I became close friend in no time. Sometimes I even felt like her little sister, whom she always took care of. Linda was a eurasmus student in NUI Galway, taking up degree in Biochemistry. She is a vegetarian, so we have no problem about sharing food. Linda loves cheese on her pasta, and I had to admit I love that freshly grated cheese on my pasta too! Linda likes kayaking so much and that's how we met. I wonder what Linda is doing now. I miss her so much. I even think about flying to Finland and spend the christmas holiday with her. I wonder would she still remembers me.
I smiled all the way, enjoying the slow stride-which is very rare for me- as if I am walking through time itself with every footstep. It's been over 2 years since I first set foot in Galway, I felt that I knew Galway like the back of my hand. God prove me wrong at that very moment. Someone stop his vehicle beside the road and asked me the direction to Wedford(not exactly sure of the spelling tho) Hotel and I went blank. Is there such hotel? I actually don't really know Galway like the back of my hand. Heh. I told him I don't know. He looked frustrated and drove away. Sorry sir!
Anyway, I was so angry throughout the week. Out of no reason, I feel that everyone is out there to get me. I felt everyone hated me, and I can't help but to feel frustrated, irretated and so very annoyed. With everyone. Tonight, finally all the hatred and revulsion that I have been keeping inside my heart had flew away with the wind and I felt so relieved. Thank you Allah, for giving me the opportunity to walk on your ground tonight and ease my heart that once was full with anger. Now I am content. Ya Allah, please keep my heart at ease while going through the journey ahead that You have set out for me. Ameen.
p/s: as I was whining about the rain this morning, I was awarded with one of the most beautiful rainbow I've ever seen in my life. Subhanallah.
I was walking home, all alone from my friend's house in Ardillaun a few minutes ago, and Alhamdulillah, I was given a chance by Him to reflect my life- all along the way back to Shantalla(where I live). I was thinking about things in the past, what is happening to me now and I wonder what lays ahead of me in the future. The full moon was shining brightly, I feel like crying-there and then. The world is so beautiful, I wonder why I always forgot that. At that moment, I felt so content yet so empty-I even prayed for someone that would walk beside me, sharing thoughts and feelings that no one else would understands. The air was cold and the gentle wind lightly caressing my face. I just love that moment. Being there at that time. The street was empty except for occasional taxis that pass by hurriedly-probably taking someone back from the pub, or to the pub, I don't know the exact time these Irish people go out partying.
Ten minutes later, I walked pass by Linda's place-it's actually used to be Linda's place, because now she is now back in Finland-her home country. I can still remember a few things about Linda, my only bestest-non-Malaysian-friend when I was in first year. She is all about smiling, friendly, caring and positive thinking, that she and I became close friend in no time. Sometimes I even felt like her little sister, whom she always took care of. Linda was a eurasmus student in NUI Galway, taking up degree in Biochemistry. She is a vegetarian, so we have no problem about sharing food. Linda loves cheese on her pasta, and I had to admit I love that freshly grated cheese on my pasta too! Linda likes kayaking so much and that's how we met. I wonder what Linda is doing now. I miss her so much. I even think about flying to Finland and spend the christmas holiday with her. I wonder would she still remembers me.
Linda and Zakuan, at the dinner party at my house in 2004
I smiled all the way, enjoying the slow stride-which is very rare for me- as if I am walking through time itself with every footstep. It's been over 2 years since I first set foot in Galway, I felt that I knew Galway like the back of my hand. God prove me wrong at that very moment. Someone stop his vehicle beside the road and asked me the direction to Wedford(not exactly sure of the spelling tho) Hotel and I went blank. Is there such hotel? I actually don't really know Galway like the back of my hand. Heh. I told him I don't know. He looked frustrated and drove away. Sorry sir!
Anyway, I was so angry throughout the week. Out of no reason, I feel that everyone is out there to get me. I felt everyone hated me, and I can't help but to feel frustrated, irretated and so very annoyed. With everyone. Tonight, finally all the hatred and revulsion that I have been keeping inside my heart had flew away with the wind and I felt so relieved. Thank you Allah, for giving me the opportunity to walk on your ground tonight and ease my heart that once was full with anger. Now I am content. Ya Allah, please keep my heart at ease while going through the journey ahead that You have set out for me. Ameen.
p/s: as I was whining about the rain this morning, I was awarded with one of the most beautiful rainbow I've ever seen in my life. Subhanallah.
posted by fAraHnaDiaH at
1:00 AM
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