I hate You.
Hate is an easy word to say when you are caught up in a situation you don't want to confront with-ever. Today, I had to confront my past-the ugly side of it. I just HATE it. It's like when you've got your exam result in your hand and shockingly you failed the subject, you feel so angry knowing that you are capable of doing better than failing if only you just work a little bit harder instead of going out a night before the exam. I feel like I want to scream my lung out - I HATE YOU!!!!!!! - but entirely, I think I hate myself. I hate it when I had to face my own mistake-or anything resulting from it. I hate it when I can't FOLLOW my OWN rules. It's not that I think I am perfect and not capable of doing anything wrong-it's just hard to accept the fact that I, above all the things in the world, did the thing I did. Now I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about it.DAMN!
What's done is done and what I can do now is just merely sit back and enjoy the journey of my life ahead. I know. However, I just can't help it that sometimes I wonder if I didn't do the thing I did-would I be happier right now? Would he be happier too? Would us still be friends right now instead of treating each other like a mere stranger? Love and hate are just complicated matters that probably I am just not ready to get tangled in just yet. Perhaps tomorrow.
Hate is an easy word to say when you are caught up in a situation you don't want to confront with-ever. Today, I had to confront my past-the ugly side of it. I just HATE it. It's like when you've got your exam result in your hand and shockingly you failed the subject, you feel so angry knowing that you are capable of doing better than failing if only you just work a little bit harder instead of going out a night before the exam. I feel like I want to scream my lung out - I HATE YOU!!!!!!! - but entirely, I think I hate myself. I hate it when I had to face my own mistake-or anything resulting from it. I hate it when I can't FOLLOW my OWN rules. It's not that I think I am perfect and not capable of doing anything wrong-it's just hard to accept the fact that I, above all the things in the world, did the thing I did. Now I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about it.
What's done is done and what I can do now is just merely sit back and enjoy the journey of my life ahead. I know. However, I just can't help it that sometimes I wonder if I didn't do the thing I did-would I be happier right now? Would he be happier too? Would us still be friends right now instead of treating each other like a mere stranger? Love and hate are just complicated matters that probably I am just not ready to get tangled in just yet. Perhaps tomorrow.
posted by fAraHnaDiaH at
11:59 AM
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